It's "the end" ... ... but not happily ever after
he called. finally... after 3mths. but its not gd news... he insisted on a break up. i din cry immediately, tryg 2comfort myself by tinkg he's jus testing me out, he jus need more freedom... i was wrong... he kept telling me i shld have got his hint long ago... but i was confident of him n have full faith that we jus needed a short break. he'll b back when he has enough of play, freedom. i'll jus wait... its ok 4me. he knws. but he say this makes him feel guilty...thats y he initiated a break up...
y? of all reasons... guilt? surely our relationship is more than jus that... ain't i worth it? i was wondering: would any1 give up sm1 u tink is gd enough 4u jus because u feel guilty not being able 2keep him/her company... that u have 2make him/her wait... that's silly. u knw he/she wont mind... breaking up would jus make e other party hurt more...
i have so much 2say... but i'll nv b able 2say them again. i tried real hard 2persuade him, 2let him knw hw i feel, remind him that im willing 2make changes, 2adapt 2everytg... but he insisted it's nv possible again between us...
so heartless... like wat i'v always called him when joking... he can actually 4get our relationship, wat happened, abt sugar, abt hw hard we fought b4... ... in jus 3mths... 5days less than 3mths!!!
im tired. reali tired. not of waitg. but of fighting emotionally. these 3mths have been e most irritating time in my life. e battlefield in my heart n soul has been on duty... almost everyday, w different reasons 2conquer... where was he when i needed him most? he has always been my emotional support... there's notg i cant tok abt w him. nw he's gone. who will listen 2me again... there r tgs which i can oli tell him... nobody else. so fr nw on i'll have 2leave these tgs aside. i'v been tryg 2mend it this 3mths... it jus cant seem 2stick back. nw another blow. a strong heartless 1...
it seems i was jus telling ppl we r happily 2gether yesterday. 2day i'll have 2change all these lines. i hate 2admit. but wat else can i do... i was jus tryg 2recall all e memories i have w him. nw im supposed 24get every1 of them???
i jus feel like... ...
posted by **** Joycelyn **** @ 12:09 pm
4 comments
4 Comments:
Like u hav said. U are still young...
Somemore now u have got more important thing to conc on... Studying... Its not saying tt studying is the onli thing u ll be doing in ur life. but its really not easy to survive in an uni. At least for me. Think now u r really down. coz of all the things happening ard u. All are very sudden. School life, love life and so on. But still, hav to adapt to it. Wat to do? This is life... Most of the time we r just adapting and struggling. Learn to relax and enjoy life, though its hard la... Time will solve everythg. Think abt it, all the lan sai time will be over. Its a matter of time. Last time we had also gone thru lotsa lan sai thing rite... Just remember, there will be sunshine after the rain... So just conc on wat u think u shld do. Watever is urs, will be urs. Same, wat ever isn't urs, dun mian qiang. Take thing naturally ba...
eh, don't hesitate to call me if you need someone to talk to k, dun sink into depression, its not good, have seen my cousin in a sorry state before cos of her breakup. Life still has to go on like Suzeng said. Time will heal all wounds, its true.show him tt you can go on happily without him, u can do it! Tk care.
guess this is e longest blog i'v ever written, n i'll ever write. thx 4all ur comments... im still in a wondering state... dun reali knw wat 2do though.u knw i haven adapted myself 2anytg yet n all of a sudden i have 2swallow all of this. hope my indigestion will recover soon... i need a gd doctor nw... lets c... still e same old tg, more activities 2keep myself bz.
still rmbr 2.5yrs ago... smtg like tat happened... i was lucky i had projs n frens 2b bz w.n still i went bonkas...always laughing my head off n doing tgs my way like nobody's biz.. nw... have 2find these tgs 2fill up my time again? but theres 1 tg... i tink i dun wanna c any1 nw... esp guys... n 2mlw i needa meet up w my tut gpmates... 4guys!!!
life's abt changing... perhaps i'v been changing 2slowly. tats y i'v been squeezed out of this marathon... my new focus??? still wanna b like shancai... strong on e outside... coz nobody can c e inside... mayb except huaze lei... n daoming si???
Shart!!! Dunno press wat, wat i wrote all gone... Argh... Heha, sorrie ah, but I dun watch tt show. hoho. Anyway, glad tt u think lydat... Just treat it as a test. After this test u will be much stronger than before... Ya, just try to fang xia. I mean ya, u hav the right to feel sad now. But dun ponder over it too long. See, u ownself said tt u hav came across smthg lydat b4. And its fine now... Things just past... If the world can't go at ur speed, then u go wif its speed. Tts how everyone doing wif it... Just be natural, dun keep too much feelings to ur own... Might explode... Its ok to say out. Like LX say we will b there to listen. Tts wat frens are for right... Dun be afraid of guys because of all these, see me n piggy are in engin, more than 2/3 are guys. Just treat them as humans. If u think u r too emotional, then let ur head conquer ur heart. Think of wat shld do now. Be radical..
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