they r on their way... back...

hey, sorry guys. so long nv blog. been reali bz. will be bz till 1 nov... then needa prepare for exams... AHHH, all this getting over my head...

anyway... e topic of this blog -- they r on their way... back... any idea??? =p

back... u knw lah... find me lor... got intention lor...
but y they? yh n sj... cant understand rite? i cant either... =(

well, they'v been tryg hard 2ask me meet up... n i'v reali been bz... not tat i wanna come up w excuses 2not meet up w them lor.

actually i have sm fears of meeting up 2. mayb 2tired of all these relationship stuff. so no mood nw 2talk abt them. i scared they wan sm 'answers' then i'll b in a fix. but lucky they like on alternate shift-- so far haven met ocassions where 2contact me at e same time... lucky me =p

but jus having a weird feeling... this is e main pt of y i wanna write 2u all althou i having a tight schedule: sj's been calling n msgg v frequently. i nv used 2feel him care so much 4me... he's been talkg like he reali regretted his decision n tryg... tryg... u knw...
but i jus dun feel as close 2him anymore. althou i still talk 2him... but he can feel its more of like a fren kind of tone. i dun feel a need 4him as much as last time. in fact, im so adapted 2my singlehood lifestyle nw, tat i dun mind if i get a partner AT ALL!!!

its a reali big change! i admit. i used 2tink im e kind who cant live w/o love/passion. but nw i realise, after all e shocks, hurts n 'drama', im reali exhausted 2even tink abt any new relationships...

but i truly appreciate their care 4me... its reali nice 2b wooed... haha =D
but im not so bad as 2make them impress me 4so long then reject them... wat goes ard, comes ard (smtg like tat lah). so betta ji1 de2 4myself.

at this moment, i'v tot of possibilities of patching up w either of them... but nv had any conclusions... 2me, yh is like a fantasy which i can nv get hold of... wheneva i c sylvester from spore idol, i get reminded of him... they look so alike lor. n both loves music like siao...

sj... e nice nice guy who gan3 dong4s me w all e thoughtful acts lor. not say yh not thoughtful, guess i no chance 2get 2knw him betta, so my impression of yh is not v complete. perhaps bcoz of this mystery, curiosity 2b w him n uncover him is greater... tats y i din delete him fr my list... u all knw i like challenging stuff mah.. i used 2look 4ward going out w him... coz i nv knw wat he'll do. its like an adventure 2go out w him lor. 4sj, he dun go out 1lor. he used 2b contented having games 2play lor. tat day he msged me smtg like: game used 2b my priority. i duno wat i gain from it, but i knw wat i lose lor...

u get wat he means? im reali in a fix. i jus feel like i have no passion at all nw... mayb coz of e stress... but i reali cant imagine being w either of them. its blank. most prob coz i cant bare 2hurt any1, including myself... n its nv possible...